Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
