just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
