There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
