doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
