I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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