YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I didn't notice because vodka
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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