where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
only you would photoshop your dick
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Randomize
