Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
