Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
