this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
