we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
don't judge my taste in strippers
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize