I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
