yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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