So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
