It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
