Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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