Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
