I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
