What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
