lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
