Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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