I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
