And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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