They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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