im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
