I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
