the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just google imaged poop.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
