we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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