Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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