Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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