I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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