BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
