she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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