Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
