i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I love having hate sex.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
