So gin and wine won't be happening again
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
whose parrot is this?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
