why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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