its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
