Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
