My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
