ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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