alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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