So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
