ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
