Nicole vs. Life
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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