8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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