I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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