FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
