thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
