It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm passing your future prison.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
my liver is dry heaving
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
