farters have to be the big spoon...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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