i may or may not be watching the land before time
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
