I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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