You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
