Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
