Moan for me like Helen Keller
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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