did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
