If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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