Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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