hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
